Last week, I was in the grocery store with the kids, and we passed by a freezer full of Popsicles.
You know what came next. My three children began to beg and plead.
“Can we get Popsicles? Please, please, please!”
“Yeah, we want Popsicles.”
“If you get us Popsicles, we promise we won’t ask for anything else.”
The next thing I knew, a box of sugar-free orange, cherry and grape Popsicles was sitting in my grocery cart. Normally I don’t buy them, and in general, I’m not a fan of sugar-free foods, but I figured why not? It’s summer, right? All things in moderation, right? Make the kids happy, right?
So I bought the kids some frozen fun.
We went home, and before I could lug all of the groceries in from the car, the kids had opened the box and were claiming their colors.
“I want a red one!”
“Me too! I want red!”
“I want purple!”
I had looked at the nutritional label in the grocery store, but I wanted to double check the Popsicles' carb content. I picked up the box and discovered a nasty little surprise.
The pull-tab that opens the box had ripped right through the center of the nutritional label, as it’s designed to do.
So today, with my kids in camp and a quiet house all to myself, I called the phone number listed on the Popsicle box.
When I finally reached a customer service representative, I explained that I have a son with type 1 diabetes, and therefore, I must read nutrition labels and account for every gram of carbohydrate that he consumes, even if the food item is sugar-free.
I described how the Popsicle box pull-tab destroyed the nutritional label. I talked more about the importance of that label, especially considering that the individual Popsicle packaging lacks a label. I told her how I had to dig the pieces of the pull tab out of the trash, feeling lucky that I’d actually been able to retrieve them and fit them together like puzzle pieces.
She asked questions. I gave answers.
She said, "I'm very sorry you had trouble with your Popsicle box."
I didn't have trouble with the box. It opened exactly as it was designed to open. The issue is that the box features a poor design that, when opened properly, renders its nutrition label useless. I can't help but wonder about the intentions there.
And then you know what she offered me?
A coupon for Shedd’s Spread Country Crock! I kid you not!
Just goes to show you that truth is stranger than fiction.
Now, I didn’t call there wanting freebies or coupons. I simply wanted to give what I believe is important feedback. But, if I’m going to be offered a coupon, shouldn’t it be for the product about which I’m calling? Or at least a related or similar product?
What made her think I want a coupon for Shedd's Spread? Imitation butter and flavored ice pops don't exactly go together. I never once said, "I like a little Shedd's Spread with my Popsicles."
A useless nutrition label and a mindless customer service representative! That speaks volumes about the company, doesn't it?!
I'm now laughing over the ridiculousness of the conversation. I mean, come on! The only thing she could do was offer me a coupon for freaking Shedd's Spread?!
The next time my kids ask for Popsicles, perhaps I'll suggest we buy some Shedd's Spread instead. I'm sure they'll love that.
I wonder what flavors Shedd's Spread comes in. You think it comes in orange, cherry and grape?